Yesterday was supposed to be a good day, and it was for the most part.
I was headed to work, as per usual, via subway. I was minding my own business playing Sudoku on my phone, when an old bum sits across me. I see him rubbing his crotch. Ok, “Sure, maybe he has to scratch his balls”. I look up, he stops. When I go back to my game, he’s rubbing his crotch. I look up again. I look down, HE FUCKING CONTINUES. Are you seriously fucking rubbing one out looking at me on the subway?!? I gave him a disgusted look which he seemed to enjoy. I changed subway cars and he proceeded to follow me, TWICE. Finally, I told a couple what was happening, and they waited with me until I could catch the next subway and make sure he wouldn’t follow me again.
One. I would like to say that under NO CIRCUMSTANCE is this okay. AT ALL.
Two. For additional information, I was wearing pants, normal boots, a long and loose grunge shirt, buttoned up all the way, wearing glasses. Not even wearing lip gloss.
Three. He fucking got off to the fact that it was making me uncomfortable.
Four. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME. GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME.
Five. I would have liked to kick him in the balls, but you never know who is carrying a knife or gun.
Six. Ever since then, I’ve felt violated and disgusted with myself. I’ve been walking around paranoid. Wondering if the way I walk is trashy, if I give off something that says, “Yes, I want it.” When I was leaving the bar (the one I went to after work), someone kept poking me and when I turned around I was ready to punch someone, it turned out to be a friend. I hate that I was on edge.
I mean, how disgusting of a human being do you have to be, to do that, and furthermore get off on the idea that it makes someone uncomfortable. At first, yes I felt like a victim, then I realized, HOLY FUCKING SHIT what kind of a society do I live in. The kind where I feel guilty about something like this happening? Why the fuck is it my fault? It’s not.
A woman should have the right to walk down the street completely naked and not get harassed, assaulted, and raped. Short of her saying, “COME FUCK ME”, she is NOT asking for it.
So I would like to say FUCK YOU to that old bum. And a big FUCK YOU to society that has taught its women to act and dress a certain way to avoid getting raped. No. That is not how it should work. You should teach your men to control their urges, and not act like uneducated, uncivilized beasts. Or the next time a guy pisses me off, I am just going to punch them out and say, “Sorry, I couldn’t control myself. Maybe he should learn not to provoke me.” Because that is basically what you are teaching women when you tell them to act and dress in a way to avoid getting raped. Good job world.